Our hero's find themselves trapped in a subterranean dungeon, having been kidnapped by an unknown assailant and taken to an unknown location.
At first they awoke shackled and imprisoned in a cell, guarded by patrolling skeletons, and with no memory of how they arrived in their current predicament.
After provoking their guards and narrowly escaping defeat with some well placed insults and improvised projectiles, they managed to free themselves from their bonds and discovered an invisible dragon who seems inclined to aid them in their efforts to escape.
After discovering their precious adventuring gear, the party bested a gang of bullywugs (frog men), again narrowly escaping death, but at least getting a neat hat out of the ordeal. At this point they hunkered down for a short rest and to try to piece together why they've found themselves in this predicament.
After a chance to recover, the party was interrupted by a strange and unexplained occurrence. Undeterred by the carnage wrought upon the slain bullywugs laying about, someone had left a tray of refreshing potions in the hallway outside the kitchen where the party was resting. Suspicious but undeterred, all but Slappy consumed the mysterious beverages.
Reinvigorated by the rest and refreshments, the party made a gruesome discovery in the form of a freshly disemboweled torture victim. Von's supernatural senses thwarted an ambush by the likely culprit, a fiendish imp who mocked his devotion before being made short work of with a well placed splash of holy water.
After facing a trapped door, swarms of rats, and attempting to free a captive and thoroughly bewildered hippogryph, the party has finally escaped the man-made dungeon they awoke in and find themselves in a natural subterranean cavern.
Will our heroes ever again glimpse the light of day and find out who's responsible for subjecting them to this ordeal? Only time will tell.
"We rejoin our brave and gallant leader Slappy as he enters into a battle with a acidic slime creature from the ceiling. After easily dispatching of the create our hero is gifted a ornate looking bag by his faithful companion, Sunshine. Out of an act of pure envy, Von tried to claim the bag as his own, but our hero realize this bag could be use to clear out the murky water to the east of the cave. So, completely under his own volition, our hero leapt into the water and absorbed all the water. Our hero's followers were stunned by the brilliance of their fearless leader and then made there way through the newly uncovered cavern. After dispatching of a giant spider, our hero and his followers took a while to collect their wits and eat. Afterward, they deemed the only way forward was to cross a bridge on the opposite end of the now drained lake. Rus, still unwise to the ways of the working world, devised an ill-thought out plan that resulted in Von being attacked nd battling a ceiling squid half way across the bridge (it should be noted that Slappy had no problem at all crossing the bridge, as he is very fleet of foot). After slaying the beast and tending to Sunshine (who selflessly tried to save the dim-whited orc) Slappy discovered a secret passage while his followers were working on opening a clearly-locked door. After destroying the living armor in the hidden room, our hero decided it was time for his followers to feel self- sufficient and allowed them to solve a puzzle to the door they were previously trying to open (Slappy had solve the riddle well before the rest even began to grasp what was at play). After opening the locked door, and allowing the others to explore the comfortable looking room to selflessly save the poor locked up hippogryph, Clop-Clop. After leading the incredibly grateful flying friend back over the bridge (again, crossing with no effort at all), our hero joined his followers in the unlocked room and upon searching meet a strange man simply named Megablocks. He propositioned Slappy (noticing that he was clearly the leader) and his followers to carry out a task for him in exchange for various rewards. The brutish-simpleton Von was too overcome with his own sense of self worth to take Megablocks up on his kind offer, but after some intellectual coaxing by our hero, he eventually accepted. Our hero and his followers also meet a man named Binx, he was ok sort of but also kind of a dick but what can you expect. Our hero allowed his followers to rest and prepare for again seeing the warmth of the sun. (It is of note that Slappy also made himself a delicious dinner, as he is a man of many skills)."
-Slappy (dictated, but not read)
"Ah yes, another day and another tale of our intrepid hero. As they awake Slappy and his group of followers rejoin in the dining hall, meeting up with Binx in the process. Binx, who is preoccupied by looking for a something that appeared to be very important to him (no doubt the generous gift Slappy had bestowed upon him the night before), was ingeniously coaxed by our hero's best friend, Larshall, to give an advancement of payment. Gold in hand, our heroes proceed down the ladder to the outer wall of Megablock's castle (despite Binx not understanding how wheelbarrows work). Slappy meet up with Clop-Clop, who could hardly contain his excitement at seeing his savior, and preceded to take off to the skies. Slappy allowing Clop-Clop to go on and live his life as a free bird-horse now thanks to Slappy's sole actions, takes charge as only a natural leader such as himself could do and leads his followers through the swap. After encountering and defeating a Goliath of a displacer beast, Slappy was able to save Larshall from a vicious snail attack, and lead his troupe of misfits to a magnificent campsite. It was here that our hero showed the kindness of his heart by healing a similarly gigantic displacer beast, who promptly ran back into the swap overcome with gratitude. Soon after, Slappy used his keen, almost otherworldly, sense of sight to discover a turtle shell hut. There they meet a man named Duplo and his finer half, a crow name Beatrix. While Dulplo looked a mess in his rat-skin garments, he soon reveled himself as a man of exquisite taste, as his had the privilege of tasting Slappy's legendary gourmet artwork. Slappy prepared him a nice herb-crusted pork cutlet with a powerfully flavorful chimichurri consisting of lemon zest, parsley, red pepper, and other spices and herbs that only a master such as Slappy could discern. Soon after our hero started to "trip the light fantastic" a n d… e v e r y t h i n g… s t a r t e d… t o… s l o w….. d o w n…. But soon he was back to normal and ready to lead his congregation out of the swap. After easily dispatching of a wood-elf zombie, Slappy's group encountered a black dragon by the name of Urban. After coaching his best friend Larshall through a conversation with the brash dragon, during which Larshall may or may not have participated in a blood oath, Slappy soon effortlessly lead his party over a river and into the woods. It was there that Sunshine lead the group to her tree and that was a whole thing and whatever. During that night of oddities, Slappy was able to complete what tailors deemed a 'modern marvel' of a cloak. The next morning, after shushing the compliment of his new cowl, Slappy continued to follow Sunshine's guidance, as if she was an adorable compass. Sunshine shepherded Slappy's band of gypsies to an old shrine of a forest goddess." (Please note at this point Slappy attempted to roll his eyes, but did a very poor job and just appeared to be blinking like a newborn deer). Slappy continued, "here Slappy and his merry band meet a dryad by the name of Meren, who almost instantly was whisked off her feet (branches?) by our gallant protagonist. She asked Slappy to investigate some strange occurrences going on in the forest, as she knew only Slappy had the wit, cunning, and skill to complete the job. Never able to turn down a maiden in distress, Slappy set forth, lackeys in toe, deeper into the forest."
*(amanuensis' note: Slappy was flexing a lot while telling this part of his "legacy",and kept bragging about the 13 push-ups he had done earlier in the morning.)
Session 9-10 + Telegram
"As our courageous and valiant hero, flanked by his plucky group of followers, continued into the woods he was able to pick up the tracks of heavy boots, and knew the situation the party was about to face. He lead his group to a garrison, and knowing the dangers that lied ahead, launched his plan into action. Our hero knew that allowing the bat-scout of the party to be sacrificed would give Slappy the opportunity to ascend to the upper floors unseen, with only The Breeze, his trap, and his bravado at his disposal. Slappy, an expert in the art of tactics and cunning, knew after one glace that this garrison was infested with 2 redcaps, 2 shadow mastiffs, and 2 scarecrows. Ingeniously Slappy instructed Larshall (AKA the drunken flame AKA the bad bro AKA the 3-inch itch) to sneak into the front of the building an eliminate the scarecrows while Slappy took out the real threats. And… well, to spare the bloody details… after a good few cranks Slappy and Dragonsbane had secured the safety of the garrison. As it happens one of Slappy's adoring fans, a beautiful elvin woman named Erma, was currently in the garrison as well. Overcome with her emotions from seeing a mythical archer in the flesh… and also something about her brother I don't really recall…. she eventually broke down into tears. As Slappy assured her of her safety, he asked The Bad Bro to go and retrieve his trap, which proved invaluable during the battle. The Bad Bro, truly living up to that moniker, ended up finding an tomb and grave-robbing. A vile act that a honorable man such as Slappy took no part in. Also the wizard melted a little, but that's not out of the ordinary. After stealing from the dead (the rest of the party were in that crypt for a while, even the paladin. It was very unsettling), camp was made outside of the grove and sleep was had and slumber was enjoyed." (NOTE: I'm unsure why he did not just say 'we made camp'). Slappy continues: "The next day, the lovely Meren lead the party to the ancient, long-rumored spring, which turned out to be just some water and a waste of time. There they meet 3 goatmen. The daring Slappy made his way to the goatmen's abbey and prepared them a feast fit for Arela herself. Herb-crusted meats in a wild mustard sauce with sautéed greens and onions, which paired indescribably well with the goatmen's ale." (NOTE: when I questioned of the goatmen's names Slappy responded with 'who?'). Slappy, anger in his eyes, went on: "Make sure you right this part down: Mules are not to be trusted and deserve no kindness." (NOTE: ?) "Anyway there was a rock monster or something and a spider-having globin, the norm. Slappy was able to rescue the fourth goatman after a very perplexing moment where the fourth goatman, trapped behind a locked grate, offered the key to release him, and the rest of the party tried to pick the lock, examine the lock, and ask him how he came to be in that situation all at the same time…while he already gave a way to release him, and looked in need of immediate rescue. Very odd. Regardless, soon our hero was out of the basement and on the way to Stilltree, to grace any resident in that town a chance to meet the legend in the flesh…"
*(amanuensis' note: At one point during this recollection, Slappy stopped and asked a female half-elf if she would like to '68'. When she questioned what that was, he went on to say "Think of a 69, but I'll owe you one." I've never seen a more disgusted looking living being then that poor girl after hearing that.)